Scars of Silver

I honestly thought these Book Blurbs couldn't get much worse. That's what I honestly thought >.<

Scars of Silver (Rise of the Unseelie urban fantasy series Book 2) 

S.A. Archer , S. Ravynheart 

You’d think the fey would have each others' backs. That’s what you’d think… if you never met any.

Malcolm is Sidhe, the only race that possesses the coveted magic of the Touch. He’s also an untrained teenage runaway who only just discovered that he’s fey. He thought the fey would have each others' backs. That’s what he honestly thought…

Until he met a Changeling. 

The Breaking

This blurb cannot make up its mind. “I’m Afraid! No I’m not! Yes I am!” Don't say "the prisoner" if in the very next paragraph you're going to give us his name anyway. Stop trying to make more suspense than you can handle!!!!!!

The Breaking (The Eternal Dungeon: Rebirth #1) 

Dusk Peterson 

"'Do you have any questions?' the Seeker asked. 'About the routine of the dungeon? The times you will be fed? The questions you will be asked? The instruments of torture I use?'"

The prisoner knew that the Eternal Dungeon was a place where suspected criminals were broken by torture, and he was prepared to hold out against any methods used against him – except the method he could not anticipate.

Arrested on the charge of committing a particularly horrendous murder, Elsdon Taylor arrives at the Eternal Dungeon in fear of the harsh methods used by the torturers, called Seekers, to draw confessions from their prisoners.

But his Seeker's methods are for more devious than Elsdon had expected. Now Elsdon is faced with a choice that will shape his future . . . as well as the future of his Seeker.

This suspenseful novella (short novel) can be read on its own or as the first story in The Eternal Dungeon, an award-winning speculative fiction series set in a nineteenth-century prison where the psychologists wield whips. Friendship, family, gay love, and rebellion are intertwining plotlines in the series.

#2 Shades of Gray: From Moscow, With Love

Another. One. Shatner. Would. Be. Proud. Of. Each of these paragraphs could be a blurb for a different book. There's no cohesion here, other than the names. I have to say, the second paragraph does sound interesting if it were it's own book.

#2 Shades of Gray: From Moscow, With Love: 
Kristie Lynn Higgins
Worlds collide . . .
A shaky partnership . . .

In the second book of the Shades of Gray series, Kat found herself teamed up with Kim. Together they searched for clues to their past. Their partnership stood on shaky ground though. Kim, a Life Closer (legal assassin) known as the Phoenix, needed Kat for the moment, to help in her search for her mother's murder. Once Kim no longer needed Kat, would the Phoenix go through with eliminating her for knowing she's a Life Closer?

A haunting melody . . .
A forgotten time . . .

Kat had discovered little about her past. Over a year ago, she woke to a world of endless night and had no memory of who she was. A music box, a letter, and a gun were her only clues. Kat discovered the melody the music box plays, put her in a trance and healed her body of any injures. Why? She didn't't know.

Betrayal . . .
A desperate fight . . .

Voice, the one who regulated the Phoenix, had sent the Raven and the Wolf to Close her. Why? Kim didn't't know, only that she must eliminate the two Life Closers before they terminated her.

Deception . . .
The two women collide again . . .

Kat was caught up in the struggle as the Raven and the Wolf were also hired to Close the sister of someone dear to her. Now she must protect the sister and Kim, but the Phoenix was hiding a dark secret that put the sister in an even deadlier predicament. What was Kim hiding?

I will protect them all . . .
No one will die today . . .

Could Kat and Kim defeat the two Closers? Could Kat keep the promise to herself that no one else would die? What would happen in the end when Kat discovered the Phoenix's secret? 

Survivalist DC: Liberty and Survival

*makes a face* This author switched perspectives for that last paragraph and I really don't appreciate it. I also have NO idea what this is really supposed to be about. We aren't warriors but we're training for battle anyway? What? "But we prepare as if; ("We will be Attacked")." <------Why put "we will be attacked" in parenthesis and quotation marks? I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a patriotic piece or a fantasy piece.

Survivalist DC: Liberty and Survival (Dangerous Civilian Book 1) 

Travis Suvil 

We are not traditionally warriors for the most part. Yet we see the need to defend ourselves and also our way of life. We are not looking for a fight or battle, but we prepare as if; ("We will be Attacked"). 

Those that call us paranoid, are blaming the victim for the crime. For it is not our claim, that we set out to become "Dangerous". We actually choose to be "Left Alone", to build and prosper on our own land. Seeking to take nothing that we have not earned. And creating conflict, with no neighbor or government. 

Like the founding fathers of America, we want only to live in peace, prosperity and sovereignty. 

On the one hand, I'm offended by the claim that "I am a Dangerous Civilian". Because, I understand the evil intent of those that view me that way. On the other hand, let it be known; If you oppose my Freedom and the "Bill of Rights" in particular. I can and will be become, a very "Dangerous Civilian". And I'm not alone.

Harbinger of Doom

"Is either the greatest hero the world has ever known or the devil himself" <------ Don't do this. This Book Blurb goes on to tell us that this person basically is the devil himself so why write it as ambiguous if you're not going to keep it that way until we read the book?

And that title just makes me think of Gir from Invader Zim. Doom! DOOM!!!!!!!!!!

Harbinger of Doom ( Epic Fantasy Three Book Bundle)

Glenn G. Thater 

This three book bundle includes the first three volumes in the acclaimed epic fantasy series, Harbinger of Doom. (The paperback versions total about 680 pages). 

Mad wizards wrenched open a gateway to hell on Eotrus land. A gateway that's determined to stay open. 

What is the young knight, Claradon Eotrus, to do when he discovers that the man he recruited to help him close that gateway is either the greatest hero the world has ever known or the devil himself, thrown down from the heavens by the gods in olden days? Is he out to save Midgaard or destroy it? Does he serve the Norse gods: Odin, Thor, and the rest, or did he slay them? And if he's truly the harbinger of doom, how can Claradon stop him? How can he even survive him? 

Claradon's Midgaard is a world filled of valiant knights, mysterious sorcerers, ruthless bounty hunters, complex political intrigues, monsters of myth and legend: the undead of this variety and that, gods and demons, and otherworldly evils so frightening you dare not read these books before sleep. But most of all, it's filled with stories that you will always remember, and characters that you will never forget.

Journey into the Deep

*makes a face* A Bible story with Greek mythology and treasure hunters? "In a moment of decision" What does that even mean? If he's wanting the treasure so badly, why the heck would he decide to throw away the one thing that will guide him to it? This blurb is so confused, I can't imagine what the book is like. 

Journey into the Deep (Water Wars Book 1) 

Guy Stanton III

"As it was in the days of Noah, 
so it will be ..." - Matt 24:32 

A Bible story ... 
... a Greek myth ... 
... and a treasure hunt! 
Put it all together, and you have a recipe for fantasy explosion! 

Eli Warner has only one objective when he finds the Orlanis Star—to use it as a guide to locate a once sunken ship and enrich himself with its treasures. But the Orlanis Star brings with it far more than he bargains for—an inscription that promises the discovery of the lost city, Atlantis, and the unraveling of its strange and diabolical mysteries. In a moment of decision, Eli and his crew agree that the wisest action is to cast the Star back into the sea where it belongs, and head back home. 

But God has other plans for these treasure hunters ... to set the captives free! 

Follow Eli and his crew on a journey of faith, destiny, and triumph from our modern world into the deep of the Earth. 

History, Scripture, Myth, and Technology never looked so good together!

Stormcaller

This Book Blurb suffers from Fragmentation. None of the following paragraphs (if you can even call them that) have any connection to the one previous or the one following. And lots of Name Dropping going on here too.

Does that first sentence remind anyone else of Deathworld by Harry Harrison? 

Stormcaller (The Age of Dawn Book 1)

Everet Martins

New author Everet Martins introduces readers to the fantastical world of Zoria, a land of volcanos and carnivorous plants. 

10,000 years have passed since Asebor was sealed during the first Age of Dawn. The power binding this malevolent god has finally waned, allowing him to once again beat the drums of war. 

Men worship the Phoenix and Dragon gods. Some are fortunate enough to touch their essences, transforming ordinary women into fearsome warriors and men into miraculous healers. 

The beginnings of the next scourge brushes the town of Breden, where Walter, son of elixir bean farmers, itches for adventure only to discover the harsh brutality of combat. 

Into the Fire

While the plot of this doesn't sound completely horrendous, there's a lot left to be desired from this blurb. There's a lot of name dropping in this blurb, which usually isn't a good thing because it takes away from some of the mystery of your novel. I don't understand why Abbey, the daughter of the fallen leader of the CSA, is being forced to face her demons in order to stop the enemy. While that may be enough of a question to hook some readers, it makes me question the structure of the plot in this book, which is enough to make me not want to read it. Also calling this "Vigilante Justice" just makes me want to hurl. 

Into the Fire (Vigilante Justice #1) [Kindle Edition]

FJ Gale (Author)

(Note: this book contains profanity and violent situations. If you are not comfortable with that, this is not the book for you. This book is NOT for young readers.)

In a city ravaged by the criminal activities of the notorious Syndicate, only one entity stands between losing control and protecting the people. Led by Commander Adam Reede, the Civilian Security Agency (CSA) fights to rid the city of the enemy. 

When the founder of the agency is murdered, if falls to Adam to pick up the pieces. Taking his fallen leader's daughter, Abbey, under his wing, he attempts to protect her, but is thwarted by one of his very own who has fallen to the dark side. 

With the stability of the agency threatened, dissention amongst his men and interference weigh heavily on Adam as he fights to maintain control. In an unexpected turn of events, it is Abbey who is forced to face her own demons before joining him to take on the enemy together.

Stiff Arm Steal

I have no idea how the two paragraphs here have anything to do in common with each other except for the name Miami Jones being used >.< Another disjointed Book Blurb. 

Stiff Arm Steal (Miami Jones Florida Mystery Series Book 1) 

A.J. Stewart

The prize possession of former football hero, part-time media personality and full-time blowhard BJ Baker has been stolen from his palatial Palm Beach home. Baker has called in the Mayor, the police, the sheriff and everyone else he can co-opt into the search. But if he really wants the person who can find it, one name keeps coming up. Miami Jones. Problem is, he can't stand Jones. And the feeling is mutual.

Miami takes on a jealous husband, a feisty ex-con and a police detective desperate to claim everyone else's 15 minutes of fame, and he finds that Florida is home to so many retired athletes he could start a pensioner football league. But can Miami hunt down the culprit before they graduate from theft to something far more deadly?

Dirty Blood

"When she kills a wolf one night" Why did she kill a wolf? Was it an accident? What happened here? Classic case of Not Enough Information (NEI). And that last part, what is with randomly adding that she's attacted to mysterious young men? What does that have to do with the price of beans in Boston?

Dirty Blood (Dirty Blood Series Book 1) 

Heather Hildenbrand

In this thrilling novel, Tara discovers a life-changing secret about herself when she kills a wolf one night — and it morphs back into a girl after it dies... Born to hunt werewolves, can she contend with her new fate... and with her attraction to a mysterious young man? 

Him & Her Box Set

THAT GUY. That is all I will say. 

*blinks*

Okay I lied. This one actually isn't horrible. It's at least palatable in terms of grammar and "rules of the trade". My problem with it comes in with the plot and how the books are separated. How do these two books even have anything remotely in common with each other? I know I don't normally like romance and this is definitely on my "never read" list. 

Him & Her Box Set

Carey Heywood

HIM 

Sarah Miller hasn't been home in seven years. She thought she could stay away forever. If it wasn't for her big brother's wedding, that is. Part of her even feels silly for staying away this long. It's not like anyone even knew what happened. Well, except for him. 

That guy. The one she compared all others to. The one who set the bar so high no other guy after him could even compete. The one who made her feel like anything was possible. The one she thought she would never be good enough for. The one she spent the last seven years trying to forget. 
All she needs to do is make it through the next week without running into him. 

Her 

You know her side of the story, now learn his. 

"It was useless. I felt branded beneath my skin by a girl who left without even saying goodbye." 

When Will Price was assigned a partner for a sixth grade class project he had no idea she would become his best friend. After years of friendship, she eventually became so much more. Then, one day she left with no explanation. 

Will’s life shattered right before his eyes and he was left alone to pick up the pieces. Floundering, Will must figure out a way to carry on, to find a way to exist without her. 

Seven years later, a chance encounter leaves him desperate to get her back. He has one week to make her his again. Not everyone gets a second chance with the love of their life and Will is determined to never lose her again.

Aftershock

You just said he sacrificed himself to save his world but it wasn't enough? Stop, just stop.

Again we have way too little information. This results is absolute bewilderment as to what could possibly go on in this book. Sometimes that can hook readers enough to buy the book but in this case, it makes me shake my head at the authors. Yes, more than one person thought this was a good book blurb. 

Aftershock (Rise of the Unseelie urban fantasy series Book 1) 

S. Ravynhear & S. A. Archer 

The day the Mounds collapsed Jhaer, leader of the Unseelie Elite, sacrificed his strength, his magic, and his very life to save his world. 

It wasn't enough. 

He thought that was the end of his story… Instead it is the beginning. 

Keep in mind when reading the “praise” for this book that it only has 4 reviews on Amazon.

I understand this book is probably aimed at the 12-16 year old crowd. That doesn't excuse the horrible idea that because you get enough tweets, you'll be assigned to a case to solve murders. That doesn't even TOUCH the "I make sense" iceberg with it's pinky finger. And that last line just confirms that this is another case of the author not having a clear plot for thier own story.

The Girl Who Tweeted Wolf (Hobson & Choi Book 1)

Nick Bryan

"If we get 400 followers, John Hobson will solve that nasty wolf-murder case for free! Fight the thing himself if he has to! #HobsonVsWolf!"

Angelina Choi was only trying to drum up some Twitter followers and make a good impression on her first day interning at John Hobson's one-man detective agency.

But the campaign went viral and now they have a murder to solve, no money coming in, and an unwilling Hobson faced with battling some enormous beast.

With both follower and body counts rising, can they crack the case without offending everyone or being eaten by a huge dog?

The Girl Who Tweeted Wolf is the first case starring Hobson & Choi, a bickering, mismatched detective duo for 21st century London. This book collects the debut storyline of the hit darkly comic crime web serial, extensively rewritten and improved for this definitive edition.

Also included: book-exclusive bonus story The Left Hand Is Always Right, a grim tale from a dark corner of Hobson & Choi's London - The Left Hand, budget pub of crime.

Praise for Hobson & Choi

"This is one of my must-read serials. If you enjoy mystery, a bit of crudeness, and dark humor, Hobson and Choi is definitely a serial you should check out." - Colleen Vanderlinden, author of Hidden

"H&C is just plain fun... Even when it’s being grim and ghastly, it’s still packed full of wit." - Dan Weatherley, author of The New Devil

"I’d definitely recommend this story to mystery enthusiasts, especially those who favor dark humor." - Palladian, author of Super

"By turns serious and darkly funny... my hat's off to the author."

"Witty and just a bit gross!"

The reason they want her leave………….*sighs* Just another blurb that didn't get edited before it was published. There's a sense of mystery in this blurb because we don't know why she was sent away from her home but with that mystery comes confusion. There seems to be very little set up for these events, or at least very little explanation. I don't want too much detail in a blurb because then I will know too much and not be interested in the book anymore. However, I think this blurb is on the opposite side, where it could benefit from a bit more explanation. 

The Spider Catcher (Redemption Book 1)

A.L. Tyler

Bright and shy, Ember Gillespie was sent away from her home and her family when she was little. She was raised by strangers in an urban boarding school that didn't resemble her family's rural and hermetic home in any way. 

Her sister Thalia, always her mother's favorite, got to stay. They never told Ember the dark family secret--why she had to go. 

When she finally gets home at the age of sixteen, the realization that her family doesn't want her is nearly more than she can bear. Her grandmother has become senile, her mother is manic, and her sister is a brainwashed shadow of who she used to be. Her only refuge from the constant strain in her mother's house comes from a young man who has taken her under his wing, and a dark friendship that seems to have the potential to ignite into romance. 

The only thing more shocking than her family's rejection is the reason they want her leave. Thalia confesses that the town is inhabited by demons, and that Ember is too weak to fend for herself. Their mother believes that Ember's paramour is particularly dangerous and bent on revenge. 

Ember knows her mother is crazy. But as she starts losing her memories and waking up to strange notes she's left herself, she begins to believe her mother might also be right.

REDEMPTION'S WARRIOR

I'm. Imagining. Shatner. Reading. This. One. Really? I don't understand what this one is supposed to be able either. And the whole "your belly is filled with miles of sensors" just makes me think Juanita is having a genetically modified baby. 

REDEMPTION'S WARRIOR 

Jennifer Morse (Author), William Mortimer (Author)

Redemption's Warrior. A young adult novel. A story of fantasy fiction. Blending mystical realities with the ordinary. 

Do you believe in beneficence? Can you fathom a goodness requiring you to make acts of power and truth? Acts resonating out into the world on waves of intention; where the impossible can intersect the possible, 

Redemption's Warrior is the story of Christopher Marcos accused of running drugs. Incarcerated on Islas Tres Marias, an island prison 60 miles southwest of Mazatlan. 

Not soon enough Juanita will be off her father's boat and back in the little room off the kitchen in the home of La Currendera. The healer teaches Juanita, "your belly is filled with miles of sensors. To live an authentic life you must unite your mind and heart with your belly."Together Juanita and Christopher will fight for his freedom and a life together. 

Redemption's Warrior: The heroes journey.; the quest for freedom. Would you bet your life on beneficence? 

Mystery: Dead But Living - Borrowed Life Series #1

As someone who was trained in college for Creative Writing and Professional Technical Writing, this one seriously hurt my brain. "Eric had never done any good to any one in his life" is just the tip of the iceberg. And it even contradicts itself, saying he'd never done anything good and then saying he knew he should do the right thing >.< Make up your mind. Is he a bad boy or not?

Seriously, I think I need more coffee or something. My brain physically hurts. *rubs her temples as she walks away*

Mystery: Dead But Living - Borrowed Life Series #1 ( A Mystery Suspense Thriller series of Adventure Mystery books and fantasy adventure books) [Kindle Edition]

N Sharma (Author)

What saves you from sure death - EVIL or DIVINE? 

Eric had never done any good to any one in his life. But, when he is about to die of tuberculosis, something saves him - A Dream. He believes something EVIL has saved him and he knew he had to re-pay whosoever had saved him because that's what he would have done. 

To find the truth, he goes back to Glenville to meet Father Frederick who could guide him. Instead, he finds two explorers who are after a treasure. 
While chasing them he comes to know about the mysteries about the place that he had spent his childhood and also about the people he had met recently. 

He follows them and soon he finds himself in unknown territory. However, he encounters something that tells him the truth about his losing their track and how he is linked with the two explorers. 

Will he find the reason behind his getting cured? Who has saved him and what does it want from him? 

Agent with a History

What is this story even supposed to be about? One of my friends mused that it is about menstrual cramp induced headaches that spawn serial killers. That would actually be an interesting paranormal thriller to read however, I don't think that's what's happening here. I think the author is a bit confused on what they wanted in the plot and is trying to do too many things at once. 

Agent with a History (The Agents for Good Book 1)

Guy Stanton III

It’s been one long day for Lisa and her headache is living proof of it. Most of it she blamed on the full moon outside. Things always got crazy this time of the month, but this month was exceptional. She needed sleep bad and only hoped the nightmares that haunted her would leave her alone for at least one night. They don’t. She wakes up as usual screaming only to find out that her nightmare has just begun, because she’s not alone in her room. 

One man has been gruesomely tortured to death in a ritualistic killing. An entire police precinct has been reconstructed down to the smallest detail in an abandoned warehouse and a mysterious stranger known only as Flint seems to be the cause of it all. It’s a case that is fast turning into one big headache for Lisa Tauranto a detective for the NYPD, but it gets much worse when her past, that she’s tried so hard to bury, rises up to engulf her in its golden grip once again. Lisa is ripped from the existence that she so pain stakingly built for herself into a mixed up world of intrigue, where nothing is as it seems. It’s a fight to survive and to protect what she is sworn to, but will love conquer all? Will she betray her oath to be happy? Does she even have a choice anymore or does a several thousand year old mystery hold enough weight in treasure to drag her down with it? Everyone wants her dead, everyone that is but for one man who is the cause of all her upheaval in the first place. He’s an agent working for someone, but she doesn’t know who. She only hopes he’s as good as his kisses make her believe him to be.

Forbidden The Stars

What is with that formatting? It doesn't add anything to the blurb, it just makes it really choppy and hard to understand. Were they trying to make it a poem? 

Please do not info dump in your blurb >.< First of all, that gives away so much of your book that I no longer am interested in reading it but also it bogs the reader down with way too much unnecessary information. If they really need to know all of that to just get interested in your book, you may need a revision. 

Forbidden The Stars (The Interstellar Age Book 1) 

Valmore Daniels

At the end of the 21st century, a catastrophic accident 
in the asteroid belt has left two surveyors dead. 
There is no trace of their young son, 
Alex Manez, or of the asteroid itself. 

On the outer edge of the solar system, 
the first manned mission to Pluto, 
led by the youngest female astronaut in 
NASA history, has led to an historic discovery: 
there is a marker left there by an alien race 
for humankind to find. We are not alone! 

While studying the alien marker, it begins to react. 
Four hours later, the missing asteroid appears 
in a Plutonian orbit, along with young Alex Manez, 
who has developed some alarming side-effects from his 
exposure to the kinetic element they call Kinemet. 

From the depths of a criminal empire based on Luna, 
an expatriate seizes the opportunity to wrest control 
of outer space, and takes swift action. 

The secret to faster-than-light speed is up for grabs, 
and the race for interstellar space begins! 

Rogue Operator

So, a CIA agent just stumbles upon the case and finds a conversation that wasn't supposed to happen? How? And how does he know that one of the scientists is still alive? Who is this guy that apparently seems to be omniscient? 

Rogue Operator (Dylan Kane #1) (Special Agent Dylan Kane Thrillers) [Kindle Edition]

J. Robert Kennedy (Author)

Three top secret research scientists are presumed dead in a boating accident, but the kidnapping of their families the same day raises questions the FBI and local police can’t answer, leaving them waiting for a ransom demand that will never come.

Central Intelligence Agency Analyst Chris Leroux stumbles upon the story, and finds a phone conversation that was never supposed to happen. When he reports it to his boss, the National Clandestine Services Chief, he is uncharacteristically reprimanded for conducting an unauthorized investigation and told to leave it to the FBI.

But he can’t let it go.

For he knows something the FBI doesn’t.

One of the scientists is alive.

Chris makes a call to his childhood friend, CIA Special Agent Dylan Kane, leading to a race across the globe to stop a conspiracy reaching the highest levels of political and corporate America, that if not stopped, could lead to war with an enemy armed with a weapon far worse than anything in the American arsenal, with the potential to not only destroy the world, but consume it.

USA Today bestselling author J. Robert Kennedy introduces Rogue Operator, the first installment of his newest series, The Special Agent Dylan Kane Thrillers, promising to bring all of the action and intrigue of the James Acton Thrillers with a hero who lives below the radar, waiting for his country to call when it most desperately needs him.

The Harvesting

I’m imagining a sword wielding granny with this one. I don't even know what to say about that lol Also I'm really sick of the whole "curtain closes on humanity" analogy. 

The Harvesting 
By Melanie Karsak
In an apocalyptic world, Layla and her grandmother are left to defend their town’s dwindling population. But as the curtain closes on the human race, a pernicious force rises from the ashes — creatures that have always existed in the shadows, just out of sight... An award-winning chiller.